“Zomboapoc” is the part of the Appalachian Mountain Pirate and the Pirate Church’s folklore about the Appalachian end times. This ‘fictional’ mountain eschatology combines elements of X Day from the Church of the Sub Genius and parts are lifted whole cloth from the Zombie craze of the mid 2000’s. A key feature of the story is the destruction of Asheville by natural forces that is caused by a Cherokee curse on the city. Still, many do not know, outside of pasta postings on the Urban Dictionary, that Asheville does have a very real curse associated with it’s historical ‘founding’.
EVILLE
Asheville as the embodiment of Evil in Mountain Pirate Lore.
In a set of audio recorded narratives from 2010, the current R.C. and Praetor Jones worked out a story called Eville (or Evile) while living in downtown Asheville NC. The story line drew heavily from actual events experienced by both Captain Ed and the R.C. as they traveled to a polluted stream that has it’s head waters in Craggy Mountain. Sychronicities began to develop around the production of the narrative that so mimicked real life, that both men stopped producing the storyline behind ‘Evile’.
Praetor Jones recalls;
“What we recorded or wrote down, seemingly manifested or better formulated, was revealed to be true. There was one time we wrote about a clown on a bike riding down a certain street in Asheville – while not unexpected for such an eclectic town – there were certain conditions and criteria that would have made the clown’s appearance next to impossible. When the clown did show up, in real life and exactly as we had seen it, we began to feel a sense of unease around continuing the project”.
Asheville has it’s own bloodied past that further typifies the Mountain Pirate belief that the town is, in itself, a place of existential evil – events ocurring in the town are downright Lovecraftian and often mirror a Manchen novel. The Cherokee were historically poisoned by the British in Asheville as wolf’s poison was used on then Caney Branch near the Hominy Creek where the Swannanoa and French Broad river confluence. The story is detailed as ‘The Indian Curse’. The young Cherokee warrior, sick from the water, issues the curse as he dies – thus creating the first recorded instance of the issues that would later come to the soon-to-be Asheville.
The irony here is that this exact spot was the place the R.C. envisioned would become the ‘Doom of Asheville’ or later written as ‘The Flood of Asheville’. Those events would later be proven true, as during the destruction of Helene; nearly all of the exact conditions, areas and even the effect on the local population, was written down three years before by the R.C. as a narrative to illustrate Principle 5 of the Spiritual Code of the Pirate Church. [12/05-12/25/2021]]The detials are so uncanny that it’s difficult to refute why he was able to write down, years ahead of the event, what would happen to Asheville when Hurricane Helene struck.
The destruction of Helene is well documented by Appalachian video ethnographer, The Highway Ghost. Ghost goes to the exact spots that the R.C. calls out in the stories and narratives.
Additionally, Joshua P. Warren and Micah Hanks (and his brother Caleb) have also detailed the curses surrounding the town over the years. The reader would do well to seek out their bodies of knowledge pertaining to the subject of the Asheville Curse.
On the Bowdich document’s errie reference to Helene, Praetor Jones believes this was not the actual start – but that the prediction came years before;
“I recall that [The R.C.] formulated a story where this event actually occurred in the original recordings of Evile – so, to me, I place the [first] original prediction [Helene] – at 2010. I personally remember him telling a version of the event as he experienced in a dream. [The R.C.] was well known for taking dreams and making them into stories.”
The original name for the exact area mentioned is called Tahkieostie, Togiyasdi or Tahkeeosteh(*) in Cherokee, it’s common translation is ‘they race canoes there’ – but the area also has some darker meanings depending on which Cherokee is asked to translate the phrase. {While legends of the French Broad Siren are considered 1800’s fiction, there are people that have real encounters in this area of The French Broad {Fae : See 1:18 mark. Care of Shannon Legro of Into The Fray Radio]
“The area is the anti-thesis of Duyuk’dv; it’s literally the ‘wrong path’ – from a historical perspective, it’s the heart of the town’s original transportation area with the historical Buncombe Turnpike near by. The Bitmore is literally right there.”
The concrete bridge near the spot is reputedly used by the Asheville Serial Killer to dump body parts into the French Broad – outside of this conjecture, the bridge does have a criminal history spanning back to it’s original creation.
“The whole place is wrong. Transplants don’t get it – to them, it’s just a play area. Witches do rituals there – that’s in the paper, it’s not something we made up. Killers, meth addicts, pedophiles and the homeless – they all cross through. To my knowledge, the Black Drink ritual was not performed there – nor was Going To Water done in this area. Holly Trees do not grow there as much, so that’s a sign.”
Cherokee Curses should only last seven generations or seven years depending on who is asked, but the Asheville Curse has persisted over the years. So, esoterically speaking the curse has become it’s own egregore;
“The way I’ve come to understand how ‘it’ works is that every 101 years, a lot of ‘negative’ energy is built up. So, the more people in the area, the more the negative energy builds up. At some time, that energy has to be released. The less people in the area, the less the effects, the more people, the greater. To me, ‘it’ represents how Asheville treats the water (and it’s neighbors). Asheville shits where it eats and sleeps – plus with water is heavily polluted with military, industrial and human waste.
Consider Helene, the Hurricane was heading right towards Cherokee, Snow Bird and the Katuah Mound. Relatively speaking as far as storms go, at the last minute, Helene shifts and goes over Asheville. This was very eerie – Cherokee was, in my opinion, the intended target of ‘whatever this ‘ was, but I think the Creator had other plans. Asheville being destroyed, and not Cherokee, was a clear spiritual message to the leaders of Asheville who often think the town controls the Southern Appalachians politics and culture.
Asheville doesn’t control anything – it’s merely allowed to exist, but with a heavy price. Racial ‘retribution’ or ‘reparations’ , an idea perpetuated by the ‘liberal’ leadership of Buncombe, are then scape goated onto the region’s Scots-Irish trough increased property taxes – but it’s the leaders of Asheville it’s self that are to blame for it’s problems. The Greek have a saying that the fish starts stinking at the head – if I were to locate the sources of Asheville’s problems, I’d start at the head.
[On Buncombe’s Racial Reparations] This act of transubstantiation will not atone for their perceived ‘sins’ of racism; a concept that was whipped up around 2014 after a near take over of the area’s political establishment. Asheville doesn’t get to decide it’s fate. The mountain’s themselves will exact revenge for the town’s founding upon a historically troubled area – it’s an uncomfortable fact that Asheville can not escape. Around every one hundred and one years, the town will be destroyed in some way.
I can’t explain why Helene skipped Cherokee and went over Asheville – by all accounts from meteorologists, this shouldn’t have happened – but it did.
I often joke that the true Choosen people live in Cherokee and not North Asheville. Yeah, it’s politically incorrect to say that – but there may be some truth to the joke. God does seem to favor the Cherokee Nation.” – stated the R.C.
Pirate Minister Cucuhlain, Captain Ed’s biological son stated;
“There is a solid reason, in our Pirate Lore, that Asheville is always the villian and it’s inhabitants are considered the ‘deluded’. The town’s a toilet, a literal toilet that sits in a bowl of it’s own filth. We draw analogies to Asheville being similar to Sodom and Babylon, because it is – but not for the reason placed on it by Christian mountain folk, but because spiritually, that is what the town ‘is’ – it’s Hell. And Hell ain’t that obvious to the people living in it.
Look, they call this place the Paris of The South, but in essence, it’s The Pompey.
You move there, expecting to make money, experience the arts and live in a nice place, but towards the end of your stay, you come to hate it. Only a few people ‘make’ money in that town – very few. The concept of a ‘living wage’ is a joke – the only people making a living in that town are the people that own it. Most Ashevillians are slaves and don’t know it.
The popular concept of the Asheville Curse leaves out the historical roots of the curse – which is typical of the non-Applachian revisionist stance that underlines the mentality of Asheville, but it gets one point right … it’s about the water. How can you be in an area rich with clean water, and alls that you are drinking is, well, polluted? That’s the true curse, you think you are living in Appalachia, but you aren’t …”
Praetor Jone’s expounds on this topic;
“In our more fanciful literature, [R.C.] and I detail a cult that controls every aspect of the fictional town we called Evile. During the writing of Evile, I often wondered if [R.C.] was writing about an actual group of people. The cult hides it’s water issues as cancers spread in a place called Hawks Creek and then to encourage more people to move into the area.
The cult deliberately creates racial tensions to maintain control, etc. They even, and this was narrated in 2010, use alcohol to dull the town. So, what is Asheville called today? Beer City.
You have to wonder, what else in that supposed ‘narrative’ is also true.”
Captain Cucuhlain talks about his years spent with his father and the R.C. while traveling on the road;
“He [The R.C.] met my dad, through me and my then wife. For several years, we toured the South going to philosphical debates. At one heated ‘debate’ at the Richard Rose Facility near the Krishna Compound on the border of Ohio and West Virginia, my father and [R.C.] tore a new hole into the group that took over that buddhist tradition. Rick Rose was a good man, fully enlightened and a real mountain guru. My father loved the man’s works. We went there just to see the place, not to get in a philosphical brawl. What they did with that place was horrible – it was a pity fest for former alcoholics that found Rose’s teachings. I did have the last word that day before we left, we bought a bottle of Scotch to celebrate. That’s the kind of adventures we have had.
I’ve known [R.C.] for twenty five years – I’ve seen him work what people call ‘magic’. Very powerful people are attracted to him, but he eventually stays away from them and prefers to live the people out in the mountains. I don’t think his mind can handle the pressures of the world he is from. Still, it’s not without a cost, [R.C.] has what the Scots in both Franklin, Cashiers and Grandfather Mountain call ‘the sight‘ – it’s a a mental affliction that is both a blessing and a curse. He, and his sister, have the ability to ‘see things’ most people can’t. They can tell you about coming disasters and so on. I think when he met my father, he was on the verge of a breakdown – my dad helped him handle the visions and learn how to keep his mouth shut, even if he knew that a person was going to meet some kind of disaster, crash or critical event the next day.. Everyone knows he predicted Helene, even two days before the storm, he started preparing and telling everyone he could, well, anyone that would listen. From before 2010 to the year 2024, to live with the pain, everyday, knowing that the world around you was about to be destroyed – it’s difficult. I think that’s why he writes stuff down in fiction – it’s his secret hope that it won’t come true. However, after you ‘meet’ one of his characters in real life, it’s a mind bender and it fucks with your head. I would not want the burden, even though, most of us have a touch of it. He, fortunately or unfortunately, has a double helping.”
In Appalachian oral folklore, the ‘place’ cursed by Tai-Ya-Gansi-Ni isn’t Nashville, but, the region of Asheville – little written evidence exists to support this narrative.
“My mother’s people don’t record any proof of that story” stated the R.C. “it’s just creepy pasta revenge fiction, I like it, but it’s just an idea. Dragging Canoe was essentially an overhill, he wasn’t near Asheville that much.”
The Asheville Redemption
With every curse story in Appalachia, there is always some type of redemption. This one tale comes from the R.C. based on stories he’s heard over the years.
“When I was a kid, I grew up with the Olmsteads, I did not grow up on the Boundary – but my mother did not want me spending my life with the ‘hole’ and ‘divet’ crowd. So my summers were spent near and at Cherokee. During that time, I heard alot of stories – some I can’t repeat due to the secret nature of the actual Cherokee spiritual tradition.
I think, from what I’ve come to understand, Asheville gets destroyed for a third time – and this [time period], a lot of people leave and homes are gone. How this happens, I don’t know. This isn’t my story, but one I heard. So, the political class (often portrayed as the Evil Council, or uyoi di-ni-la-wi-gi) either gets killed, destroyed or just goes away – that’s never specified. The Second Nation, or the Hidden Nation within the Cherokee takes the place of the First or transforms it. I’ve always taken this to mean that the holy people who run the Stomp take over, I’ve also heard them called the people of the stopped clock.
In that day, the rattlesnake will replace the fiery serpent*.[*] The children of the Uktena, the slaves of the people of Tahkieostie, will go back to their lands in the South. The People of Uktena** are the historical enemies in some accounts, but in this version, they just get tired and go home. I don’t get the impression that this means ‘white people’ because these people have beady or ‘keen’ eyes (like the Uktena), by all accounts, they look like Cherokees, but aren’t.
The Anidawehi reform the seven clans, and the folks from Oklahoma come back home from over the hill. There’s a great stomp outside of Rattlesnake Mountain – and everyone up on Rough Creek and Big Cove finally make peace with the Scots-Irish (an act that would signify Hell was destroyed, because it would take that for such a thing to happen). When this happens, the Anidawehi broker a truce with the ‘friends of Yahula’, they will probably dance and the curse is lifted from that area.
Supposedly, the Gaelic people still in Appalachia are reunited with the Little Folk or something similar. They atleast become ‘aware’ of them again. That’s how I understand that the ‘issue’ of Asheville resolves itself. In that time, I imagine it will no longer be called Asheville. The place will have a new name and the people there will be invited back into the Nation.”
**[Note: The Cherokee, Iroquois and the Onieda Nations warred with Southern Tribes that practiced human scarifice, blood rituals and cannablism – human sacrifice is an abomination in the Cherokee religion]
